Well one thing's for sure…jail fucking sucks. And prison? Worse by a factor of a bazillion. If he ever practiced law again, Kincaid would have a much better understanding of the plight of his clients. Not empathy, mind you, because only idiots went to jail. And that, he had to admit, was what he had been.
I'd really only been the money man, a silent partner, and clearly, a semi-retarded one as well. I'd assumed that fucking beaner had been using my money to run drugs, but as it happens, it wasn't drugs at all. Drugs would have been saintly, compared to the shit that dickweed was really smuggling. Turns out, there's more money per pound in human organs, than in cocaine. Who knew?
Apparently the Feds had been running wiretaps on everyone involved, and the recordings were like some shit right out of TV. These fucking spics thought they were so clever, speaking in spanish and in some stupid code that a 3rd-grader would have had no trouble figuring out. FUCK I'd been so fucking stupid. Greedy. Funny though, I'd always warned my clients, "Don't get too greedy, greed always gets you." Outstanding fucking advice, prophetic, even. The Amazing Fucking Kreskin, right here.
My partner, Denny, God bless him. He represented me, although by the time they'd gotten to me, there was little that he could do. I simply didn't know enough about the organization, the players, hell, even the actual cargo being smuggled. I tried to deal with the Feds, fuckin-A-right I did, but as I always say, "first to squeal gets the deal". Those goddamned wetbacks sold me out the minute the cuffs went on, and you just KNOW that smug little prick of an AUSA loved the idea of torching a defense pro like me. So, the government wasn't interested in my cooperation, only in the headlines they scored by dragging my name across the front page under headlines like "Famed Criminal Defense Lawyer Heads Up Human Organ Trafficking Ring".
It was so fucking crazy, so outlandish, that the public, the "regular" people, they believed it! They figured a guy like me HAD to be a fucking scumbag, and this is the kind of shit scumbags do, right? Well, they got it about half right. I have done some shady, and hell, downright fucked up shit to people, but nothing that'd ever make the news. Well it would if it got out, but the people I was doing it with own the fucking media, so that shit is locked down like Area 51. The kicker here, the thing that just chapped my fucking balls about the whole deal was I WASN'T FUCKING GUILTY. Not of this.
I know, right. Nobody in prison is guilty, they all have some sob story about how badly they got screwed, "Didn't do it, lawyer fucked me!". Usually they're talking about some baloney-sandwich-eating loser public defender, and I always used to giggle about that shit. Not anymore. Now, I fucking get it.
I used to sit with clients, on my side of the glass divider in the visitation area, pick up the phone to talk to them and when I was done, think nothing of the fact that I got to walk out of that hellhole. It's a whole different deal on the other side of this glass. Some huge buck black-power thug named Larry Motherfucker (I shit you not, that's his name) has been after my ass, (literally the ass!) since I got here, and I have to constantly look over my shoulder to make sure he's not lurking back there somewhere. Thankfully, I've defended a sizeable chunk of the straight-up murder-yer-ass hard-cases in this shithole, and I've always done right by them, so I have a bit of protection. It's not absolute though, everybody has to take a dump sometime, right?
The trial…hell, the trial was a joke. I had no fucking defense! Well, other than "I didn't do it", but good fucking luck with that one Johnny Cochran, every juror on the PLANET is like "yeah, sure ya didn't buddy". So, it was a bloodbath, beaner after beaner up there on the stand telling these pitiful lies about how shitbag whitey took advantage of them and made them steal drunk tourists' kidneys for money for their starving fucking kids.
It was a 15-minute guilty verdict, hell I doubt they had time to elect a foreman and have a cup of coffee before slam-dunking my ass. It's a statement, really, on how badly joe the fucking plumber hates lawyers. Can't say I blame them though. I fuckin' hate'em too. Losers, most of'em, and the ones who aren't walk around like their shit doesn't stink. I speak from experience here, mine smells like fucking potpourri. Maybe that's why Larry Motherfucker is all about the ass.
So, the court dropped the hammer, sentenced me to 25 years, and I…well I honestly don't know if I can do that kind of time. I'm in decent shape, but these guys work out like its a religion. I'm just not strong enough.
I've been having weird dreams too, like I'm having a conversation with my ring. I know, fucking kooky. The ring though, is one of my favorite things. It's an an oddball, ornate antiquey looking thing my ex-girlfriend got for me in her endless fucking flea market dumpster dives, and it always made me feel good when I wore it, like I was stronger and better than everyone around me. Powerful even. Didn't help when the pigs cuffed and stuffed my naked ass in the back of that charger, and it stung a bit when they took it off me and stuck it in the zipper bag with my rolex and money-clip and took it to wherever they store inmate property. But sometimes, in my sleep, I would swear it calls out to me.
My cellmate is fucking jacking off. AGAIN. I've about had it with his stupid fucked-up bubba teeth and constant farting, but this jacking off shit is for the birds. Gotta be unsanitary too, I'd hate to see this place under a blacklight. I wonder how long I'll get in the hole if I cave in his fucking cromagnon-like skull for him?
I swear, if he nuts one more time I'm gonna fucking find out…